Humans cannot tolerate models that cannot adapt to situations and are in constant states of weakness, as it signifies death. Evolutionarily speaking, if one is weak, their chances of survival diminish as the stronger, more adaptive individuals prevail. Therefore, any sign of continuous weakness from any person or culture is a signal for us to avoid and seek out the more adaptive. However, in the new era, with shifting moralities, we find ourselves unable to simply ignore weaknesses in others, as we would be condemned for doing so. Instead, we often defend weakness with hostility, mistakenly believing that by doing so, we are helping the weak. This defense mechanism stems from our innate fear of becoming the underdog ourselves. We recognize the chaotic nature of life, understanding that circumstances can change, potentially leading us to become the weak ones. Consequently, we empathize with and aggressively defend underdogs out of our own fear, rather than genuine concern for their well-being. We convince ourselves that supporting them is necessary to combat the constant weakness we perceive, fearing that it might somehow infect us, and if it does, we’ll need allies.

Now that we’ve identified this aspect of human nature and how it interacts with the underprivileged and weak, it’s time to explore how we can truly help them.

First and foremost, we must work on our inner selves and mindset before attempting to assist others. If we harbor a fearful and distorted view of the world, any help we offer will be tainted by our own anxieties. We must trust that, despite the apparent chaos, things are not as dire as they may seem. Drawing from my experience as both a person and a therapist who has dealt with countless conflicts and struggles, I’ve come to appreciate the uniqueness of each individual’s narrative. Despite the pain and trauma they may have endured, there is a magnificence in the creation of such unique individuals. I do not celebrate pain or attribute purpose to trauma, yet upon delving into people’s lives, it becomes evident that nothing is arbitrary.

Secondly, we must confront our fear of weakness. While this fear may never completely dissipate—it is inherent to our humanity—we can become more conscious of it. By shifting our perspective from “what actions can I take to alleviate my own fear” to “how can I support the underdog in becoming stronger,” we can effect real change. This shift from an egocentric to a more realistic and altruistic mentality can foster growth in the underprivileged.

Thirdly, it’s crucial to address our personal triggers. When encountering someone in pain or a marginalized community, we must examine what triggers us. Do their experiences resonate with our own past traumas or insecurities? Additionally, when empathizing with underdog societies, do we do so blindly, without considering opposing viewpoints or historical contexts? This form of blind empathy can enable and victimize them further, rather than truly helping. Therefore, it’s essential to critically evaluate our responses and motivations.

Moving beyond introspection, here are actionable steps to genuinely assist:

Listen to Their Hurt:

If it’s an individual, while listening, try to understand them and see beyond their hurt. Recognize that any advice you give them right now might not be helpful. Advice can create distance, as if you’re both standing in separate valleys.

If it’s a society and you feel compelled to take a stand for their betterment, study their history and religion. See how things led them to this point and what factors contributed to their hurt. Consider their belief system and values. Do these align with yours, or at least what you aspire to? Don’t jump to conclusions, claiming the powerful are always to blame. Blame shifting often prevents people from taking responsibility for their actions.

Filter and Take a Stand:

If it’s an individual: What things are outside my control, requiring only listening? What can I comment on to help the person understand their pain? What should I know about trauma to better understand them? Additionally, what aspects of their current behavior might be increasing their pain? Addressing these behaviors shouldn’t be about judgment or shame, but rather wisdom and understanding.

If it is a society: What stance should I take that benefits the other party while also aligning with a healthy belief system? What aspects of their history do I support, and what do I stand against entirely? How can I express my message in a way that’s beneficial and understandable for them? Am I still conveying respect in my opposition?